Let’s play a game.

One called 

“Does the internet think we’re compatible?”

 

Let’s start with online

psychoanalysis: your favorite

childhood cereal. 

I like the plain stuff: Golden

Grahams, Cheerios (and not Honey Nut). Apparently

I’m no fun, or a blatant psychopath

who eats dried

mulch and bristles, no milk,

and enjoys the crunch. 

You like the sugars and colors, the squishy

marshmallows

that spell out rainbow-

flavored joy in every bite. You

get bored easily. So

you’ll leave me and I’ll destroy

your life in return. 

Check the first box. 

 

Moving on: astrology. I’m 

a Capricorn, strong, sturdy, 

resilient. Earth sign. Roots plunged

so far into the nourishing loam

even a tornado would only

crack me in half. You:

Sagittarius, fire sign, ready

to scorch everything beneath you in your quest

for immortality through daring,

leaping like a flamethrower burst

from a higher arc of the swing each recess. I’ll 

drag you down in the muck and hold you there. You’ll 

break free by burning

my quicksilver hands. 

Check another. 

 

Body analysis time. 

Me: high arches, stepping

daintily away from grit and hard

conversations that could dirty

my speck-free, shiny-as-Louboutin undersoles. 

You: flat feet, stomping fully 

on every word, trying to smash

meaning apart with each blow, not caring

where the mud might fly

as long as the memory

stains your feet and squelches

between your toes. 

I’ll wipe myself off

and you’ll fling my regrets back at me. 

Checkmark three. 

 

Guilty pleasure:

fandom character quizzes. 

I’m like every

misunderstood nemesis: the one

the main character shoves aside so often

resentment builds into a shimmering veneer

of impenetrable nonchalance, veiling

misbegotten emotion behind a fugitive’s

poker face. You’re

the sidekick, the comic relief, but also

the one who defends the hero

by kicking the quasi-villain’s ass

into the dirt. But one time,

my arm shoots out to catch you by the wrist,

and I drag you down onto my lips, my prone

never-quite-defeated body. 

Leave that box blank.